


Shadows and Monsters

by starlonging



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon Compliant, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Post-Canon, Raven Neil Josten, Raven Win AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-06-08 18:07:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15248967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlonging/pseuds/starlonging
Summary: Neil didn’t know they’d reached the last minute of the game until the buzzer blared overhead but his body understood and finally gave out on him. He fell to his knees on the court, stomach twisting and entire body feeling like a big bruise. His gasped breaths did nothing for him but he forced his head up to look at the scoreboard when the buzzer blared again.Nine-Ten, Ravens’ favor. They’d lost.They’d lost.





	1. Chapter 1

The final match against the Ravens was nothing but a blur in Neil’s mind. It was moments strung together haphazardly, blurring into each other. It was bodies checked into the wall, teeth flashing behind feral grins, the goal lighting red and the taste of blood on his tongue.

Neil didn’t know they’d reached the last minute of the game until the buzzer blared overhead but his body understood and finally gave out on him. He fell to his knees on the court, stomach twisting and entire body feeling like a big bruise. His gasped breaths did nothing for him but he forced his head up to look at the scoreboard when the buzzer blared again.

Nine-Ten, Ravens’ favor. They’d lost.

_They’d lost._

Neil could not _stop_ the way his hands trembled and his heart stuttered in his chest. He watched Riko with glazed eyes as he gloated in the win, pretending to be charming for the media. No one paid attention to the ugly smirk he directed at Kevin which claimed otherwise. No one paid attention as Riko’s hungry eyes settled on Neil, dark and menacing and _greedy_.

The post game formalities were intelligently skipped considering the rivalry between the teams and Andrew brushed his fingers along Neils’ back as they made their way to the away locker room. Neil recognized it for the silent apology it was but they had given their best. They had pushed themselves to their peaks, _Andrew_ had pushed himself. Nine-ten was absolutely nothing to be ashamed of when they were against the Ravens’. After everything the Foxes had been through, they had only lost by a single point to the best team in Class I Exy. That was much more than anyone else had managed. Sometimes it was just a matter of luck after all and the Foxes had never had much to begin with.

Neil did not blame anyone. So, he looked at Andrew with a question in his eyes and when he got a nod, curled his fingers around Andrews’. His free arm slung itself around Kevin and they stumbled their way inside, a strange three-legged creature each half leaning into the other.

As they all gathered together, shouldering their bags, Kevin stumbled beside him. Even in the aftermath of their loss, he was quiet and fierce. He had proved that the Foxes were not _nothing_ when they could stand up to the Ravens. He had proved that _he_ was not nothing.

“You did good.” Prying praise from Kevin was as difficult as prying a bottle of alcohol from his hands when he had fully decided to get wasted. It was impossible and yet here he stood with green eyes aglow and voice firm. This man was not the one Neil had met at the beginning of the year. Somewhere along the way he had changed and Neil could not help but be enchanted.

_Neil_ was supposed to be the stubborn and resilient one and yet here was Kevin, still confident, head held high. Neil on the other hand had retreated into himself. His teammates had given him worried looks but had left him to his own company for a while. His hands had still not stopped trembling and he could not shake off the feeling of _wrongness_ that had settled into his chest like lead.

Andrew had stopped too, watching the two of them curiously. Neil responded with a wry twist of his lips. “Not good enough.”

“ _You did good._. Do _not_ try to down play your performance. We lost today, it won’t happen the next time”, Kevin was adamant.

Neil flashed him an exhausted smile. “It won’t.”

Kevin nodded once and then stalked away to Wymack who was engaged in a heated debate with Nicky about the merits of an after-loss party on the bus itself. Andrew settled his hand at the back of Neil’s neck while Neil settled himself at the back of his family as they trudged slowly towards the door of the locker room.

“Roof later?” Neil asked and Andrew gave a quick nod. It did not seem like sleep would come easy to Neil tonight and he would rather spend it with the weight of Andrews’ lips against his own and a warm hand splayed by his neck.

It happened too fast.

 

There was a loud curse as the door slammed open of its own accord, angry Fox voices warring over each other as Riko Moriyama came into view. His hair was still wet and the hungry gleam to his eyes looked even more pronounced now as they settled onto Neil.

“You didn’t think I was letting you go, right?”

Wymack was quick to intervene, putting himself between the psychopath and his team, “Riko, I don’t thi-”

Andrews’ knives were out already as he pushed past him and blocked Neil from view. “I think you’re lost, ugly Raven. Come on, I won’t mind showing you the way out.” His voice was malevolent with violent intent and Neil held no illusion that Andrew _wouldn’t_ cut Riko open when he got him alone, away from his family, consequences be damned. Riko had already proved himself to be a problem, but this close to the people under Andrews’ charge, he was a _danger_.

There was a click behind Neil and he remembered too late the presence of another door here for it had remained firmly shut before he was grabbed. His startled gasp turned everyone’s attention but before anyone could do anything, several other bodies were pushing into the room.

Andrew moved lightening fast but there was already a man behind him, twisting his arm behind his back. He lashed out with his free arm and managed to throw him off with a well aimed elbow. His knives were no longer an option once they were knocked away and Andrew fought wildly with his fists instead. He caught one man in the throat with a brutal punch that choked him and another was slammed unapologetically against the wall. As fast as he was though, there were too many men for him to fight off. They were most likely trained as they wrenched him away from a comrade with lethal technique. He felt a hard blow across his face, too close to his eye as he was forced onto his knees, immobilized. Around him, the Foxes were similarly restrained. Kevin was held against a locker with an arm across his shoulders, his knuckles painted red. He had fought too. Wymack and Matt had evidently cause considerable damage but were now on their knees too. Aaron, Nicky, Allison and Dan looked similarly battered and Renee had to be held in a painful arm lock.

Neil still struggled. He was like a wild animal held in a choke hold. There were too many men upon him, holding him down and that made him struggle _harder_. There were hand shaped bruises on his wrists and arms, his lip was cut and bleeding and one brilliant blue eye was in the process of swelling shut. A cut on his forehead bled freely. However, Andrew found satisfaction at the sight of a man lying by the wall, he could only hope dead. It was evident that Neil was the priority here as he was slammed face first into ground, finally restrained completely.

Riko Moriyama stepped forward, a gleeful smirk on his lips and laughed lowly. “You didn’t _really_ think I was letting you go, did you, Nathaniel?”

Neil growled in reply, trying to wrench out of the arms holding him to get a shot at Riko. Riko on the other hand, calmly took a step away from Neil’s grabbing hands, smirk still in place as he tutted like a disappointed teacher. “One would think you would’ve learned by now but then again, you were always quite dense. Let me spell it out for you again. I _own_ you. _You are mine_.”

Neil, ever the mouthy bastard, could not keep his lips sealed. He spit venom and Riko was the recipient. “The _Moriyamas_ own me. The _first_ branch, not disowned second son’s with no worth.” Neil’s grin was a terrible parody of a smile, bathed red in blood, all teeth and none of the mirth.

With Rikos’ anger there was simply no transition period. He did not grow frustrated to angry to angrier. He just went from cool and collected to seeing red. It was a particularly volatile emotion when curled around Riko Moriyama’s chest in a choke hold and accordingly, the black haired man lashed out. He kicked into Neil’s vulnerable side brutally and Neil’s breath stuttered out of him in a choked groan. Even as Neil tried to curl into himself, limbs still restrained, Riko did not stop. He did not stop until after a particularly hard hit, Neil _screamed_.

The Foxes around him flinched in unison. Attempts to free themselves were renewed with increased ferocity and Andrew managed to free an arm before it was wrenched back again, at the verge of being broken.

Riko leaned down and grabbing Neil’s’ hair, wrenched his head back. His free hand curled around the slender arch of Neil’s’ already bruised throat and squeezed. “You do _not_ speak to me that way. I am your King and you _will_ respect me.” Riko hissed, his hand tightening.

Andrew could see the difficulty with which Neil’s breaths came now and yet his lips pulled into that hideous grin again. “ _Worthless second son._ ” Neil never did know when to stop.

In retaliation, Riko slammed Neil’s head against the floor and when he pulled Neil back up again, his eyes were dazed and the cut on his forehead had widened.

“Worthless second son? Then you will be happy know that you really are mine now. Ichirou gave you to me.” It took a second for Neil to process that and Riko smirked when understanding finally dawned on his face. “ _Yes._ The Foxes lost. Or do you need a reminder of that? I’m sure your failure is flashing across all the news stations by now. You failed, so now you must face the consequences. Ichirou has decided that you are to join the Ravens.”

There were angry protests from all around the room. Neil was a fox, he was _family_ and you did not let go of family.

“Kevin and Jean can stay where they are. The terms of their contract do not change, they are at their full potential. _You_ on the other hand, have a long way to go. You still have potential but that is evidently wasted under a team as pathetic as the Foxes. So I’ve graciously stepped forward, Nathaniel. _I’ll_ help you.”

Wymack had had enough. “Riko! You cannot do that. He still has contract with me for five years. You are _not_ taking him away.”

Riko smiled charmingly, “I’m sorry, Coach Wymack. I understand you don’t want to let go of such a player. But his contract will be handled and he will be transferred one way or another.”

“Riko…”

But Riko had stopped paying attention. He was focused on Neil again, psychotic smile in place. “So, what do you say, hmm?”

Neil simply shoved his middle finger in Riko’s face even as he was held down. “I say that you shove your contract and your help up your ass and-”

Riko’s hand curled around Neil’s finger. His face blank, he twisted and twisted and _twisted_. Neil whimpered in pain and then screamed as the finger broke with a wet sounding crack. 

“I think you said thank you. You’re welcome, Nathaniel.” Riko’s voice was as placid as if they talking _weather_.

Even under the glaze of pain, his gasped breaths, eyes clouded with tears, Neil could see his teammates trying to fight back. They were already bloody and bruised because of him and Riko was proving with every passing second that he really was psychotic and volatile. Neil was used to this kind of heedless violence, his family was not and so he kept his mouth shut for once. He would go willingly if that meant his family could be safe.

“You’re learning. That’s good, Nathaniel.” Riko patted Neil’s cheek like he was dog and then got up. “I think we’re done here.” He looked pointedly at the men who held Neil. “Take him.”

Halfway up, Andrew freed himself with a growl and lunged at Riko, throwing him against a locker with a resounding crack. His hands wrapped around Riko’s throat like they had always wanted to. It did not matter what the consequences would be. At least the world would be rid of something as vile as Riko Moriyama. Riko scrambled pathetically at his tightening hands, defenseless without his hired goons and Andrew let a vicious smile snake up his lips. Other hands were reaching for him trying to pull him back but failing until someone hooked his arm around his throat and pressed at the pressure points in his hands until they fell ineffectively to his sides. Riko was pulled out of his reach immediately as Andrew was pushed down once again and then there was a knife held just under his jaw, pressed hard enough that it drew blood.

Riko clutched at his throat but that did not stop from speaking. “Leash your dog, Kevin or I won’t be so kind next time.” He turned to his goons then, lips curled in disgust. “Get these people away from here and make sure they do not cause any more trouble.” He grabbed for Neil’s once again. “And take him away. Show him where he belongs.”

Riko had the audacity to throw a careless smirk to the Foxes. “I’ll keep you all updated on his progress.”

Neil was manhandled to his feet and Andrew watched with fire burning in his veins as he was dragged away. Their deal was no longer in place but Andrew had long accepted him as one of his. It was _his_ job to protect Neil and he had failed once again.


	2. CHAPTER TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riko stakes his claim. Neil is in pain and Andrew is a mess (sorry).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been SO long but I finally wrote something. Yay! I'm going to try and wrap this up this month since I'm on vacation from college finally and I HAVE SO MUCH TIME. Fingers crossed. Hopefully I can do it.
> 
> WARNINGS- Panic Attacks, Flashbacks, Blood, Torture, Riko fucking Moriyama

Neil had not thought he would be crying so soon. He was used to pain after all, his father had done an exceptional job training him and it was a pity all those years of his bloody hard work were not even paying off.

 

His breath came out in panicked pants as hands brushed against his burned cheek, soft and gentle as Riko leaned close and smiled.

 

“It’s going to look _great_. So good.” Another hand came up to his naked chest and Neil tried to pull back desperately, his skin crawling and he just wanted Riko to _stop stop stop_ but he was well and truly restrained, strapped in place to a chair in Tetsuji Moriyama’s office. There were hands on him he did not want, holding him down despite his inability to move and fingers deliberately traced over each and every one of the scars that littered his torso, pressing in cruelly whenever a galaxy of purple and blue skin appeared.

 

Faintly, Neil thought that Nathan Wesninski was the greater evil, that Riko was a spoiled _child_ nothing to be afraid of but the flames in the fireplace in front of him crackled ominously and he whined into the gag because despite not wanting to be, he was afraid. He was _terrified_. Riko petted his hair in a mockery of comfort.

 

The walls were closing in on him and the room was too hot, the heat from the flames burning him as it lapped at his skin, higher and higher until it was pressed right against his cheek ~~again~~ , the smell of burning flesh permeating the air and Neil gagged.

 

There was laughter then, cold and cruel _was it his father?_ and vaguely he heard someone talk - call out to someone, telling them to bring it. _Bring what? The flamethrower?_  
The heat pressed closer and Neil could see the blurry outline of something glowing fire orange right in front if him through his teary eyes.  
A flash of teeth, monstrous and hungry. _“Scream if it gets too much for you.”_

 

And then the world erupted into pain, _real_ pain as the fog of past trauma lifted to focus on the present one. Riko held him firm with a hand fisted tight into his hair and a poker pressed into his chest, bright orange and burning with the fresh heat of the flames it had kindled.

 

The smell of burned flesh permeated the air. Again.

 

And Neil screamed.

 

\--

 

He woke up in flashes to the feel of momentary painlessness, the metallic scent of blood and wetness on his cheeks.

 

He blacked out in flashes to the feel of all encompassing pain.

 

When he woke up in a familiar bed, wrists cuffed to the headboard he found the outline of a raw red raven embedded in his chest, nestled in the confines of blistered skin that broke and bled when he shook with laughter, hysterical as Riko’s words reverberated in his memory.

 

_“You’re mine.”_

 

\--

 

The crack of the phone hitting the wall broke the silence that had descended upon the Foxes. Andrew heaved, more anger than strain in his breaths. His knuckles were stained white where skin pressed against bone from how hard he clenched his fists, nails digging in and drawing blood. 

 

“Andrew…” Nicky called out tentatively. He had learned to understand his cousins’ body language over the years and the bunched tension in his shoulders did not bode well with him. Andrew pretended not to care but the problem was that he cared too _much_. He pretended not to feel but the problem was that he felt too _much_ , especially for those who managed to break through his walls like Neil had done.

 

Neil’s muffled scream rang through the room from someone’s phone, the video still playing from where one of them had probably abandoned it in favour of tears and Andrew kicked his already broken phone hard enough that it crashed into the wall again with a resounding _clack!_ and even the pieces fell apart.

 

“Turn that off _right now_.”

 

Matt scrambled for his phone among hitching sobs while Nicky tried once again to try to soothe Andrew somehow, make it hurt a little less but he was already too far gone. Neil had jumped off the roof long ago and he had taken Andrew down with him and he was _falling falling falling_.

 

In the bathroom, he pressed his back against the wall and tried to breathe. His rage was a living breathing animal that was threatening to take over as his mind, _the asshole_ , rewinded and replayed every sob and every scream torn out of Neil. The sight of his icy blue eyes, frozen in terror, wide open but unseeing as he thrashed in the restraints had Andrew reaching for his blades before realizing there was no one here to turn them to.

 

Instead he tried to focus on the sounds that came from the lounge. The heaviness of Wymack’s anxious feet as they tapped a rhythm against the floor, Abby’s quiet sniffles and then the surety of her feet as they stalked to the medical room probably to help wherever she could even if she could not help Neil. Aaron and Kevin made no sound but Nicky’s voice was rich and clear as he tried to calm everyone, ever the mother hen with words even though his own voice hitched with unrestrained emotion every now and then.

 

Andrew let his head fall back to the wall and closed his eyes, pressing trembling fingers into them.

 

“I hate you. I hate you so much.”

 

And then quieter, “Come back. _Please._ ”


	3. CHAPTER THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a filler chapter? It's just putting up the ground work for upcoming things.
> 
> As for WARNINGS, I don't think there's much to say. Riko Moriyama is a warning of his own and if he's there, then Neil is in pain. Nothing's too graphic. If I miss something please tell me so I can fix it.
> 
> Hope you enjoy reading!

Neil wondered if the upperclassmen had left already. They had been excited to go home, Matt had even asked Neil to come with him to his mothers’ in New York and Neil had been feeling quite agreeable. Technically, they were free to go after all – the championship was over and done with, the season over and finals written. It was only _his_ plans that had changed and he realized that the world didn’t stop spinning just because he had fell out of rotation. Everyone else would go on, they would move on.

 

The upperclassmen would head home, Kevin would follow Wymack to his apartment with the chain of family binding them together now, Nicky would rush back to Germany to be with Erik while he could, Aaron will likely be with Katelyn now that he was free.

 

But Andrew? Where will _he_ go? Back to the empty Columbia house that was just concrete walls ringing hollow without the bickering of the monsters to fill it with? Neil couldn’t bear the thought of it. He couldn’t bear to think about Andrew sitting all alone in the patch of sunlight that fell in the living room, cigarette in hand and not a soul in sight.

 

Guilt curled around his heart like vines. He had promised not to leave and yet here he was. His every waking hour was spent with a racquet in hand, the fire of new and old wounds across his chest and the hiss of Riko’s voice in his ears. Tetsuji Moriyama stood at the periphery of his battle, a biased judge and stoic executioner with a staff in hand, ready to dole out punishment whenever Neil’s mouth got away from him which was often. His chest had already been a canvas of scars but now his back bloomed purple and green with every stroke of the dreaded staff.

 

For one horrible selfish second, he wished Jean had still been here – unfamiliar and harsh but someone he could trust to keep him steady on his feet and clean his cuts if only for his own benefit. Then the image of his battered body in Abby’s spare room rose unbidden in his mind - the way he talked, trying to be fierce and commanding but the honest flush across his cheekbones even under the bruising that told of a man who was used to be commanded but never expected to be listened to.

 

Neil buckled under the pain and the weight of his thoughts.

 

No. Jean was doing good in California with Jeremy Knox, he was healing. He had suffered too much already and deserved no more. This was Neil’s pain to bear alone and he did not expect to get out of it this time as he had done years ago.

 

There was no rescue coming for him.

-

“You’re _exceptionally_ stupid, you know, waving a red flag in front of a bull and asking it to come hit you. Fucking smart mouthed _imbecile_.”

 

Neil chuckled and his chest ached familiarly, complaining at the movement. He leaned against the wall to steady his battered body and tilted his head up to look at the girl _what was her name?_ The light caught at the blooming bruise at the edge of his mouth, splattered with blood from where his lip had split.

 

_J…J…Jia. That was it._

 

“We’ll be here all night if you’re expecting an apology of sorts. Just ask your captain, he has experience.” This false bravado was costing him. He pretended to be okay but the truth was that he was tired beyond belief. The weariness and hopelessness weighed him down more than it ever had on the run. It had barely been two days maybe just one, who knew in the Nest? And his hands were already too unsteady, gripping a racquet was difficult. His mind scrambled to gather simple details, the lack of sleep catching up.

 

“ _Neil!_ ”

 

He blinked and realized vaguely that he must have zoned out. Jia pressed her lips into a thin displeased line and then she was shuffling, reaching into her pockets before shoving something at his chest.  
Granola bars, he saw. Jia flapped her hands awkwardly, stepping back and looking down the hallway. “Eat those and make sure you get some sleep.”

 

Neil stared. This bit of kindness in this dark a place was unexpected.

 

“Are you suddenly _deaf_ now? Nod and agree, idiot.”

 

Neil’s lip twitched and he was surprised to find warmth curling inside him. He hadn’t thought it possible. The Nest was a place made up of shadows and monsters, kindness had no place here but it had found a way anyway, curled up in a corner and made a home there.

 

“Thank-”

 

Jia walked away and Neil stared at her retreating figure until the needs of his body made themselves known again in the form of pain and he made himself limp away to his room.

-

Riko was up to something. With Jean gone he had to depend on other members of the team to act as weapons which were still unwieldy simply because they were not made to be used such. They were not born into a mafia family or had a butcher for a father after all. They simply kept shut because of ambition. They wanted to be _something_ in this world of nothingness. It didn’t matter what the path to success entailed, they were willing servants to it’s cruelty and Neil, a helpless victim.

 

Neil caught their glances on court, the hushed whispers they indulged in with Tetsuji’s back turned. The most obvious clue was the fact that Riko deigned to talk to them outside practice. Sometimes there were brisk knocks on the door of the room that Neil now shared with Riko, the _rat tat tat_ of it sounding like bullets aimed at him while he lay on the bed, vulnerable and handcuffed every night, blood seeping from new cuts. Breathing felt like an untaught math lesson – scrambling his mind to confusion and impossible to do with the fear and anxiety that rose to fill his lungs instead of air.

 

The night Riko received a small parcel, the pleased curve of his mouth was an especially sharp hook that gutted Neil at it’s end. In the hazy aftermath of the blades that had pierced him, Neil wondered if it would be any better if he kept his mouth shut and his head down, if Riko would give him just a night’s respite. Then Riko appeared in his bloody vision once again and pressed his fingers possessively into the raven embedded in his chest, tracing the unhealed edges and scratching his nails into the red skin surrounding it. His smirk was still in place and whispered of more pain to come. It didn’t matter what Neil did, Riko’s hatred was too deep to overcome.

 

The raven on his chest burned painfully with a vengeance all night as if reciprocating the chasm of hatred in the one who had put it there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback would be great! I love reading your comments and thank you to everyone who stuck around for this from back when I published the first chapter in...July I think?

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I feel terrible that my mind even conjured up the image of the Foxes losing in the finals but it is what it is.
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you guys liked it! I have a plot already in mind for this so hopefully updates won't be a problem.
> 
> If you're looking for me, you can find me at starlonging on tumblr.


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